You want to reach out and offer comfort, love and attention, but know that too much water has passed under the dam, too many moments missed to have a continuum of history, where it does not make the effort, suspect. You reflect on the love you shared, the moments of laughter, joy, sadness and all the range of human emotion. You wish you could have done better, loved more, stayed present, and wished, the other had done the same.
Emptiness fills you, another odd expression of paradox. So you weep. Hunger grips you and you sort through the pantry and refrigerator and nothing attracts. You too, are also dying, to the person you were with them. The person they could count on, the one that knew their deepest and truest thoughts, hopes and dreams. Grief and loss take many forms throughout our lives, and we have to allow ourselves to feel the pain of that which we did not get to express, live, or develop, and not try to move past the discomfort artificially.
Grief wakes us up to the passage of time, opportunity, and being present in the moment. Pay attention to the birth of spring! The flowers don’t last and the weather changes and children grow up and loved ones die and all is in constant movement into Impermanence. .All that remains is our experiences, and that, praise be, we can take with us when we cross over.
With love and light,